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Saturday, September 11th, 2010 06:28 am
Yesterday I arrived. Everything went fine. The weather was good. Everyone was kind to me. I didn't have any problems through the many transfers and unfamiliar airports and buses.

It was not a good day.

Idiot, idiot. Why do you do this, again and again? What are you looking for? Idiot. You don't even know. You leave everyone you love. Again and again. What do you think you're going to find? Stupid, stupid, stupid. What can possibly be here that you haven't found anywhere else? How many places must you go? Idiot. Everything in a pathetic pile of suitcases and nowhere to go. You have everything and you leave it for nothing. Again and again.

Gods, how I hate you.


This morning by some miracle I woke up early. The sky outside was grey, grey, grey. The buff-colored stones were streaked with wet. Among the things I didn't have: an umbrella.

Making breakfast, I felt my spirit lighten. Eggs, pesto, cheese. I stole the last of someone's milk, a little bit of olive oil. I ate breakfast, made myself a wrap to bring along for lunch.

As I walked to campus, it began to rain in earnest. Where could I get an umbrella?

I found one in a Sainsbury's, with the help of a kind saleswoman who called me "luv." I found the bus, I went to campus for the first time. Even in the rain it was lovely and green, with the city in the distance poking through the mist.

I found where I was supposed to go by luck. I spoke to many people, with confidence and ease.

How much I have changed in five years.

I spent lunch with other people in my program. They filled me in on what I'd missed, told me a great deal about Edinburgh. They helped me to get to the new campus . . . where I had to leave them for lack of a signiture.

I was not worried. I made the necessary calls. I found an advertisement for the aikido club. I stumbled on a weekly gamer's section and promised to come the next week. I easily took the bus back to the first campus. It stopped raining, and the sun came out.

I didn't get my signature. Instead I got information on places to rent. Garnered useful websites. Ran into a Malaysian woman who helped me find my way out of the building. And then offered to take me into town to show me where to get a cell phone.

We walked there together, stopping in thrift stores along the way so I could get some long-sleeved clothing. On the way I found out that we both loved fantasy books, and both read manga and watch anime. We exchanged emails, I got my phone. Then I saw her off.

I ate my wrap sitting on a low stone wall.

One block further on, I saw an easel out advertising Aztec-style chocolate infused with different flavors. One pound fifty. I treated myself to an elegant esspresso-cup infused with rose and black pepper. It came with an elegant square of white chocolate to counter the bitterness. They even gave me the pitcher it was made in, because "it had a little extra in."

"A little extra" being nearly another full cup.

I walked back to the hostel, exploring along a canal. House boat for sale, 25,000 pounds.

I found my way back to the hostel.

It was a very good day.
Sunday, September 12th, 2010 09:35 am (UTC)
you are in Edinburgh!!!!

eep! while not local, that is much more local than usual! this means i may get to actually see you some time. or at least talk to you without crazy time zones and japanese phones that don't get my calls through.
how do i call you?
did you get my e-mail from a little while ago?
squee!
Tuesday, September 14th, 2010 11:50 pm (UTC)
I am. :-)

It is at least in the same time zone as you, and seeing you would be awesome indeed. Granted I'm going to be face down in my books a lot of the time that I'm here-- mustdowellmustdowellmustdowell-- but nevertheless the seeing of the Pam can and should happen.

gaaaah I missed phone calls due to phone?!?! noooooo . . .

::tragedy::

I . . . er. Maybe? Or maybe not? When was this? What was in the email?
Wednesday, September 15th, 2010 08:29 am (UTC)
yeah, i gave up calling your japanese phone because it didn't seem to like to accept my calls.

it was a couple weeks ago, when you asked for my e-mail address. i sent it to WhettedKnife. i just sent another one.