eight miles high and falling fast

[tsubame]

The weather is somewhat disgusting today, which I rather approve of.



The gryphon watched Oasis from his corner as she departed in a swirl of skirts, his yellow eyes intent. "She is dangerous."

Siyamak sighed and slumped back in his chair. "She's ambitious, that's certainly true. I simply can't figure out why she's involving me in her schemes, though."

The gryphon's gaze shifted to the mage. He was playing with the handle of his knife without thinking about it. "She wishes to make cubs with you."

The mage blinked. "What?"

"Mating, yes? She wants to mate with you."

Siyamak closed his mouth after a moment. "She-- oh. Oh. I never even thought of that, but now that you mention it, you're right."

"Will you mate soon?"

"No! Of course not!"

The gryphon made his odd, settling not-shrug and moved forward to perch in one of the chairs near the brazier. "It is good to take care of these things quickly, before they are complicated."

"It's already complicated." The mage fiddled with the tassle on his sleeve. "You don't like women, do you?"

"Females are dangerous. They are even more dangerous when they are thinking about cubs. It is best to do what they want and then get out of their way."

Siyamak laughed. "You have such a refreshing view of the world, my friend. But it's a bit of a double standard, don't you think? I notice you have no problem with my mother."

"She is better than other females. She brings apricots. And nuts. And those strange plants."

"Sugared violets."

"Yes. Those."

"Apparently the way to your heart is through your stomach."

"I thought human hearts were further up."

"No, no, it's just an expression-- oh, nevermind."

"So? Will you make cubs with that female?"

"With Oasis? Absolutely not."

The gryphon paused for a moment. "She is an attractive female," he said, reluctantly." "Her coloring is regular, her forehead is at a good angle, and she is strong."

The mage groaned. "Now you're making fun of me."

"I do not know this making fun."

"And I'm too tired to explain it to you. Dealing with Oasis is exhausting." Siyamak rubbed at his temples.

"Your mother wishes you to make cubs. It is normal, yes? Even for humans."

"My mother has been wanting me to settle down and start 'making cubs,' as you put it, for a while now. I think she's figured out that it isn't going to happen. And I have no interest in what is or isn't normal." The mage's brow furrowed as he looked up at the gryphon. "I never asked you . . . did you have any cubs? Baby gryphons, a mate?"

"No." The gryphon's eyes slid away. "I am . . . unproven. And too small. And . . . I think strange things. I am not good for making cubs."

"Cyrus . . ." Siyamak's face softened. "You are certainly a marvelous and very attractive gryphon. Not to mention fast, strong, and intelligent. You'll have cubs too, if you want to have them."

"You are a human," the gryphon pointed out stiffly. "You do not know how things are with gryphons. Anyway, it is the females who decide."

"You're right, of course, I'm human and definately not female, but . . ." The mage sighed in exasperation. "You're not going to listen to anything I say about it, I can tell from your expression. Help me think of ways to deal with Oasis instead. And don't tell me to have cubs with her, you know I'm not going to."

The gryphon drew his feet up underneath him in the chair. "It would probably be bad to kill her."

That startled the mage out of his pique and into a laugh. "Her or that damn cat of hers, no matter how tempting it may be at times."

"I like the cat."

"You like Hector? That furry little demon? He attacked you the last time you tried to pet him, I point out to you."

"I like him."

"He sharpened his claws on my favorite coat."

"So?"

"Cyrus, he was looking right at me while he did it!"

The gryphon focused on the mage and blinked slowly, pointedly. "I like him."

Comments

[lucifermourning.livejournal.com]

i am so very much amused. especially by the last bit about the cat.

something small

[grey-damaskena.livejournal.com]

I really like Hector. It disturbs me when character's pets start to aquire as much personality as the characters, but it happens now and again . . . I had a character who owned a horse named Glory (full name: Mist Island's Twilight Starsglory. Yeah, he had a pedigree longer than most royals), and that horse was the vainest beast in the world. He was awesomely fun to write.

I love this pair

[daharmaster.livejournal.com]

I like this very much. I like Cyrus as a name for the gryphon, I love their interaction and dialogue (and yes, they definitely have very distinctive voices, esp. the gryphon, and a distinctive conversaton style), and some of the lines are just great. Such as when Cyrus is reluctantly admitting that Oasis's "coloring is regular, her forehead is at a good angle, and she is strong." That was truly wonderful.

If I may offer a critique, though, the line where Siyamak is praising the gryphon and being like "cheer up, you're terrific, you'll have a mate no problem"...the line is a little awkward and sounds out of voice for him. It sounds kind of fake to me. It especially sticks out because the rest sounds so natural.

So I assume this is relatively earlier on in the story?

the wookie will love me

[grey-damaskena.livejournal.com]

The gryphon is, of course, judging Oasis by gryphon standards for beauty. Apparently she qualifies as beautiful under both. ;-)

I spent fifteen minutes dithering over that line, and finally just left it because I wanted to move on to the rest. You're right, it's awkward, but he has to say something comforting and reassuring there. They're always bantering back and forth, so it's hard to get them to say meaningful things. Translating my intent into words at that point is really difficult-- I'm open to suggestions.

I can't really say this is early in the story. It all progresses in a very linear format. First there's the transformation of the gryphon into a human by the mage, then there's some time spent teaching the gryphon how to be a human. Then a little bit of plot kicks in, and they travel from the mage's manor/castle/estate/whathaveyou to the king's court (this is when that rabbit scene takes place). After they arrive there's an acclimation process, the gryphon meets Siyamak's mother (this is going to be fun, I'm really looking forward to writing it . . .), the gryphon makes an impact on the court (already written, just needs to be typed and re-edited), and further plot ensues. Then everything gets figured out, the angst gets worked through (there is angst, as you saw from the conversation snippet before it degenerated into humor), and it's happily ever after until I decide to write the next book.

Would that I had more than the vaguest idea of what the plot actually is . . . I know what I want the plot to do, and bits of what I want it to involve, I know the beginning of the story and how things end but I'm missing most of the middle. I just keep coming up with random things that flesh out the book but don't really have much to do with the plot. This one has slightly more to do with the plot, but the plot parts happened while Oasis was there, so obviously this bit just misses them. Although Oasis being in love with the mage is fairly important. I have Plans, muah ha ha . . .

Um, right. Off to do homework before I scare you too much.

I'd rather kiss a wookie?

[daharmaster.livejournal.com]

No, not scared. ^_^

Perhaps, if the mage is having problems with the line, you should translate that into the story. He wants to be heartfelt and comforting, but he's not really sure how to say something, and it comes out awkward, a little uncomfortable, a little odd. If he is aware of it, it will make it seem more natural and within the story. ::shrug::

If not, then I'd suggest using fewer adjectives in a row. "You're very attractive yourself, and fast, strong...you'd make an excellent mate."

As to plot-stuff - gotcha. This felt like it was relatively early in the Oasis-plotline, and maybe it's just me reading into things, but it seemed like the relationship between the gryphon and the mage still hasn't developed to the point that it has in later snippets I've read. Like the catnip one. Oh, I remember the catnip one... ^_^

fuzzy llama

[grey-damaskena.livejournal.com]

Thankee much for the suggestions. :-) Can't work on it now, but I'll take them into consideration. I tend to be sparse with desciption in mage/gryphon bits, or so I've just noticed, so I have to work around that . . . hm.

The catnip one takes place fairly close to the end. ::coughs:: Don't know if I should include it at all, but it's so funny . . .

[majochan.livejournal.com]

Yum.

That is all I shall say. *nod*

Majo

all I see

[grey-damaskena.livejournal.com]

The Majo! ::rejoices:: I hope you're still online when I get back home, that I do . . . I am spending the evening out so my roommate can be romantic with her boyfriend.

Re: all I see

[majochan.livejournal.com]

Hope you have a fun Valentine's day^^ I'll just be home, sipping spiked juice and writing sap. Probably.^^

Majo

[aiara.livejournal.com]

*just giggles* Been in and out of a funk all day. Needed that. ;-)

twice a llama

[grey-damaskena.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you like, though sad about the funk. Your coolness is too great, I must not permit the universe to inflict funks on you!

[faerieboots.livejournal.com]

Hehe, had you peered at the Dark Jewels trilogy before you wrote this? Because I see quite a lot of Kaelas and Ladvarian in the Gryphon's speech...

how I used to be

[grey-damaskena.livejournal.com]

Not specifically, no. But of course I'd read it beforehand . . . any influence is entirely unconcious. The mage and the gryphon actually started out as a Nghia and Emrys spinoff AU, but rather quickly acquired a life entirely of their own.